Free Write

Being Happy.

Not sure if everything i think should be said out loud. These things i think sometimes make me sad then again I’m not sure if  being sad is all that bad because I’m not happy .. but I don’t know what it feels like to be happy. I have this idea of what it should be but then again everyone has their own idea of what being Happy is. I guess I’m at this point where I haven’t completely found myself and to find myself along the line i will find out what makes me happy. but right now i don’t feel that. I just feel like I’m here  just living my life feels like it is moving so slow that i can not stay focused on what my main goal is. This feeling becomes so overwhelming that I start to feel hopeless.

How do i get out of this state of mind that I’m in, so much has changed so fast including myself  that i feel the change within me. That feeling right there is beyond me. I see so many things in a different way now but still trying to put them all together .. some days i just feel like falling apart and leaving this world because i don’t see the need to stay when things only become worse. Then some days i realize that things get better and then they get worse again but your suppose to grow form that and not fall apart.

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